Today, Dinky & Pregnancy.

Well, hello guys! Compared to yesterday I've felt pretty good today. I guess yesterday was just one of those days & I guess I just needed to get some things out because today I woke up fairly early (it's a start) & did my make up & got dressed. I actually left the house (ha!) to run some errands & I actually enjoyed it, I even got to see a woman throw a fit at Sally's, hahahah. I also made plans with someone who I haven't talked to in way too long. Today was a good day, I'm aiming for tomorrow to be a great day. There's a lot of things that I want to accomplish tomorrow, I just have to push myself. Hopefully I'll slowly start to get out of this rut & my true self will emerge again.

Stella has turned into a different child than she was just two weeks ago. Every day she perfects the art of throwing a fit. She swats at you now & I don't know where she learned that since we absolutely do not swat her. I take that back, we did once because she almost electrocuted herself! It was just on her hand though & unfortunately she thought it was a game. That was weeks ago though, so I don't know where she has learned this new hitting thing. Oh & yes, it is out of anger, it's only when she is getting "in trouble" for something. She's also learned to scream. EAR PIERCING SCREAMS. They aren't followed by tears, it's just her screaming out of frustration whenever she is getting the remote taken away from her or she's getting her diaper changed. Changing her diaper now takes two people! That little baby has a very strong independent streak & an attitude problem! I will admit though, I'm sure she gets both of those from her Ma'am. On Wednesday she growled at Justin & I tried to be quiet about it, but it made me laugh to hard that I teared up. We were at Ihop & she was shoving too much food in her mouth & it was dangerous so Justin took her plate of scrambled eggs away from her, just long enough for her to finish what was already stuffed in her cheeks. She slammed her hand on the table & did her best Simba growl (she has a Lion King obsession). It was so loud & she was so red in the face, she was genuinely angry about her eggs & it was so cute. On Wednesday she also stood up without holding onto anything. Out of nowhere she just pulled herself up & just stared at Justin & myself. It wasn't until we started smiling & she started clapping for herself that she ended up falling, about 30 seconds later. Even with her stubborn attitude she is still such a doll. I cannot stress how much personality that girl has. I honestly don't know how she's going to handle having a little brother or sister. Nor do I know if her sibling is going to be a lot like her, now that would be a lot to handle, hahah.

At around twelve/thirteen weeks pregnant I'm just now having some pregnancy symptoms. I'm very exhausted, I wasn't aware that it was possible for anyone to be this miserably tired. I'm also having food cravings, the worst kind, too. All I want is junk food. Chips & cookies. Candy & more chips. Sweet & salty. With Dinky I craved a lot of fruit & nuts my first trimester, Taco Bell MEAT, too, gross. This time around I'm also craving fish. ANY kind of seafood is just calling my name. It's actually making my stomach growl just thinking about it, how pathetic. I've gained three pounds so far. I gained 100 with Stella. I had Preeclampsia with her though, so a lot of it was water weight. I lost fifty pounds the first week after delivery. I've noticed that my C-Section scar is getting somewhat sore. Whenever I lift my arms abruptly or I have a button from my pants pushing on it, it starts to ache a little. I read about it & I saw that during any pregnancy after a C-Section the discomfort of your scar is a really annoying big deal that only gets worse as you get bigger, which makes sense. Great. I'm quite positive that I felt baby number two move the other night. I know it's pretty early for that, but I felt Stella really early & I know it's not uncommon to feel the baby move even earlier during your second pregnancy. I'm almost positive it was the flutters of the little babe. Another symptom that I've been having is that I've been in the mood for sex, a lot of it. Honestly, I'm a really sexual person anyway & I enjoy doing it & luckily Justin is on the same level as I am. But lately instead of just wanting to be intimate I feel like I need it, hahah. Whenever I was pregnant with Dinky I was also very, um, riled up. Some of the best sex I have ever had was when I was expecting with her. I know that's all a bit personal, but isn't all of this? I have the hardest time not talking about my sex life on here. It's so difficult because I just get so excited about it. Maybe I'll make an entirely new blog just about that....it's a thought.